Alignment, self-care, self-expression, and recognition

Not February yet. Still January.

Time has been moving so slowly - I wondered to myself today whether this is a sign that I'm at peace and happy in my life and that's finally allowing me to slow down and "smell the roses" as they say.. or if it's because I've got so much consistently "on the go" to think about and work out, that right now feels like a constant Tuesday-Thursday loop.

Either way, I'm noticing how good it feels to take it as it comes and actually go EASY on myself. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I REST. With no guilt.

Have you ever forced yourself to sit down and take stock of what matters to you, and to make it a point in your life to let whatever that thing is sit at the top of your priority list? I wonder, do you find that practicing that makes a difference in other areas of your life?

“The best part about both of these days is the memories these girls created together, the fun they had, the smiles, the mishaps, the experience of being together in that moment in a way that allowed Nikki to tell her daughters “YOU are what is important to me” and in a way that allowed her to remember that she is important all on her own, too.”

Nikki, pregnant, in the backyard pool

I've been noticing that "honouring" the things that are most important to me has given me more confidence and peace in my life in general. When I'm "living in alignment with my values," I have a lot more light and grace and desire to do more and be more and offer more to other areas of my life. When I'm "forcing it," that's my first sign (and the only sign I need these days) that something isn't right. And then I change it.

I've been taking information that reinforces the ideas that become these life lessons from wherever and whoever, often from people who have no idea they're playing a role in my life, and conversely whose lives I may be unknowingly impacting too. A whole different "circle of life," if you will. And it's been happening a lot more lately, mostly due to the fact that I've been having many, many opportunities to meet many more people and talk about things that really matter as we get to know each other while we plan their portrait session. In a photo studio. I put that in italics because it denotes the way I tilt my head and marvel to myself that portrait photography is giving me, giving us all of this. Yes, we’re literally shining a light on you and capturing who you are in this moment to save for the rest of time. Yes, you can tell me who you are, what you feel. Yes, I want you to do that and yes it feels validating! No, it’s not therapy, but it definitely is self-care.

This is a great example of taking stock of what you feel, what you need, and what’s important that I’d love to share. Nikki, whose photos grace this post and who I'm lucky to have been calling a friend for the past decade, got in touch this past November and we talked a lot about where she's at currently. With three daughters and an ongoing cancer journey, you could call her an inspiration. Does she feel inspirational? Not always. Probably not even most of the time. Most of the time she feels like Nikki, interrupted - taking it one step at a time and unsure where to step next to keep the ice from breaking.

Robyn and Nikki prepping for session one (hair and makeup artistry by the supremely talented Robyn Lynn Makeup Artistry, check out her instagram)

Nikki and I had hung out a few years ago in my basement when she was pregnant with her most recent daughter. We wrapped her in fabric and put some wind in her hair and created some stunning and timeless portraits, then moved outside to take some dreamy photos with flowers and chiffon in a swimming pool under the summer sun. It was a great day, and a memory begging to be relived and enjoyed again. And that’s what Nikki had decided she needed in this moment - in the midst of all the poking and prodding and disruption and pain, she went back to that joyful place to feel it all again.

On a Monday, Nikki came into the studio and sat comfortably while Robyn went to work applying a gorgeous makeup look and teasing her hair to give her back some of the volume she’d been missing. She had shopped for dresses that made her feel amazing - a little red number.. the SMILES speak for themselves. A grey bodycon dress in a casual couch pose. A pretty, flowy blue, with a little bit of wind. Her comfy sweater, curled up in a comfy chair, the way she feels most herself.

On that Tuesday, she started chemo. On that FRIDAY, she came back to do it all again, this time with her family in tow. Our superb stylist Chelsey (@confidentbeauties) and outstanding makeup artist Morgan (@glamour.beauty.inc) gave Nikki and two of her daughters the royal treatment and we created so many beautiful images of the girls on their own and together with mom that we ended up with a huge, beautiful album they’ll hang on to forever.

The best part about both of these days is the memories these girls created together, the fun they had, the smiles, the mishaps, the experience of being together in that moment in a way that allowed Nikki to tell her daughters “YOU are what is important to me” and in a way that allowed her to remember that she is important all on her own, too.

And cancer was not the focus. Nikki was, and her girls, and their love for each other. All three, sitting right at the very top of her list.